During their lifetime, most folks get a chance at “15 minutes of Fame”–or perhaps “15 Minutes of Infamy”–as in my case! At one time or another, we all end up on local or National Television, and it is supposed to be the highlight of our existence here on the planet. Right?
Well, folks–my “shining moment” came and went last month, and it didn’t turn out to be as shiny as I expected. In fact, every time I think of it I am quite mortified.
I was in Northern California, beachcombing on my favorite stretch of sand near Eureka. I’d wandered far down the beach to an isolated area and was about to turn around when something caught my eye.
There in the sand was a big loon flopping about on the seashore. He was entangled in fishing line from his beak to his feet, and there was a large fish-hook embedded in his chest.
Being the Good Samaritan that I am, I knew I had to help him out.
All I had on hand was a dull pocketknife, but I set about trying to free the flapping Loon. It proved to be much more difficult than I imagined.
Good Samaritan or not, I was no match for that wily Loon.
He quickly discerned that he was being dealt with by a novice–and he went into a wild frenzy, pecking and flapping and scratching for all he was worth.
Sand was flying and I was screaming and the Loon gave me the What-For. It went on and on for an eternity and a half, at least..
The Loon took off flying several times and there I was holding onto the end of his fishing line for dear life. The bird flapped skyward, straining at the end of the line like a maniacal kite thrashing in the wind. I reeled him in and tackled him once more–all the while screaming and hollering at the top of my lungs.
I cried. I beseeched the Lord for help. I rubbed sand from my eyes and tried again. He bit. He screeched. He cussed me out in bird language until he couldn’t screech any more..
What should have been a 2 minute Rescue turned into 15 minutes of Hell on Earth. It’s a wonder my eyeballs weren’t pecked from their sockets.
I’m happy to say I survived the ordeal and finally set the wretched creature free… but he wasn’t done tormenting me, of course.
I made a serious mistake at the beginning of my rescue attempt. For some unfortunate reason, I turned on the video on my cell phone and recorded the whole thing. And when my friends got ahold of that Loony Bird’s video, they went nuts. Before I knew it, thousands of people had viewed the dumb thing and were sharing it with their own friends on Facebook.
My mortification knew no bounds. My friend, Kathy, insisted that I get the video copyrighted by putting it on a YouTube account in my name… but when I did, it only made matters worse.
Within days, a National TV agency discovered the video and decided they wanted to air it. And the rest is History.
Now my 15 Minutes of Fame reveals me before the whole world as a raving lunatic. And the wretched Looney Bird got his final revenge.
He is ungrateful and I am plum mortified.
I will never live down such bizarre behavior. I have out-done myself this time for sure, my Country Neighbor… and now without further ado, I will quietly make my exit…