Country Gals in Cyber-Space


A few years ago, we were care-free.  Just rural folks with sunflowers and veggie gardens.  We lived on dusty country lanes—not in the fast lane of the Internet Super-Highway.

We had no World Wide Web.  Only cobwebs.  No Tweets.  No Facebook.  No daily emails.  And we couldn’t care less!

The only “Viruses” we had to worry about were chickenpox and measles.  “Online?”  That’s how we dried our laundry.  Copy-and-paste?  Kiddies did it in kindergarten.  We had no’s.  Just dot-to-dots.  And a “Motherboard” had just one purpose—to paddle little rear ends.

We had the breeze on our faces.  The creak of a porch swing.  The lowing of cattle in the pasture.  Ah yes.  Life was good.

But not any more.

All that changed with the arrival of the Information Super-Highway.  It cut a swath through our Back-Forty—invading every corner of rural America.  Gone were the meandering country lanes!

Nowadays, everyone’s Tweeting and Twittering—even Grannies who don’t half know what they’re doing.

Nobody gets anything done.  No baking, gardening, canning, or praying.  We’re just Googling, Yahooing, and Facebooking our lives away.  Ridiculous!

My own Mother, agrees.  One day, she was squinting at my “Blog” on the computer screen.  Mama shook her head with gentle woe.  “You know…” she said, “Today on your Blob, I’m not even sure what you’re blobbing about!”

Blob and blobbing?  Good way of putting it, Mother!  Similar to blabbing, I think.

Oh.  But we can’t live without it.  Surfing the net.  Checking out Ebay.  When our computer systems go down, we panic.  God forbid!  Our world melts into a big blob of high-tech Gizmologeoliticalpsychofanaticism.

That’s exactly what happened to us, the other day.  A fiber-optics cable caught fire somewhere in our neck-of-the-woods and everything went down—even our cell phones.  Devastating!  It was TEOTWAWKI, for sure.  Even “2012-ish!”.

Couldn’t check emails or see what the Stock Exchange was doing.   Stock Markets…?  Don’t mention ’em!  Last I heard, the Markets had dropped 100’s of points.  No. Wait!  Somebody said they’re spiking higher.  Ooops.  Lower.  Higher.  Up…!  Down…!  I’m dizzy from it all.

Gold prices are at record levels—which means only one thing.  Investors are frantic.  I warned you about that many years ago…remember?  Told everyone to buy gold when it was just $300 an oz.  Now it’s about $2000!  Investors always flee to Gold—seeking refuge when fear is rampant in the Markets.

Panic on Wall Street.  Uncertainty on Main Street.  Weariness at the Old Home Place.

A crazy world to live in, and it’s getting crazier by the moment.  In just nanoseconds, panic spreads via high-speed Internet.  It goes viral—spreading around the globe.  It used to take days for bad news to travel throughout the world.  Not any more!

Economies are tanking.  Entire countries going bankrupt.  The Middle-East is erupting. Terrorism?  Nuclear War?  There’s a quaking in the land.  Tsunamis of bad news are overtaking us via the Internet.

Oh.  And if that’s not bad enough, our Planet itself is turning psychotic!   Record droughts.  Heat-waves.  Crop failure.  Climate changes.  Solar storms.  Quakes in unlikely places.  Swarms of tornadoes descending like locusts—chewing up everything in their path.  Historic flooding.  Animals dying en masse.  Sounds  “biblical,” huh?

Seems like it’s 2012 already.  Is this The-End-Of-The-World-As-We-Know-It?  “TEOTWAWKI…?”

Naw.  Not really.  ‘Cuz we feel fine.  Just fine.  We know what awaits us.  There’s good news in the midst of it all.

You see…When our Internet Super Highway finally crumbles away—full of potholes and decay.  When our modern culture buckles beneath the weight of materialism, political corruption, permissive parenting, and immorality.  Then we know that our old-fashioned values will have to kick in, again.

America will turn back to her “countrified” roots, once more—or she will cease to exist as a nation.  One of these days, we’ll get on our knees and appeal to our Creator for peace in this land.

Yep.  One day it will happen.  But until it does, we’re stuck with what we’ve got: “Gizmologeoliticalpsychofanaticism.”

Well, there you have it, my country neighbor.  There it is in a nutshell…or in a “flashdrive,” as the case may be.

If we’ve learned one thing today, it’s this: It’s better to garden than to Google.  Better to twiddle and whittle, than to Twitter and Tweet.  Let the tweeting and twittering be done in the treetops—not CyberSpace!

Ah yes.  Sunflowers.  Windmills.  Gardens.  Dusty country lanes and creaky porch swings.  The sighing of the wind, and the lowing of cows in the pasture.

Forget Wall Street, and even Main Street.  All that really matters is what’s going on in our homes and our hearts.  If we take care of that, everything else will fall into place.

Together, folks, we’ll make it through the rough times ahead… (And they’re going to get rough, I assure you.  Rough as a corncob in the old hen house.)

So long for now.  See you next month!

…If the Good Lord’s willing and the crick don’t rise!



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