How do you deal with a bully who’s a fraction of your size, weight and strength–yet who wields great power over you? …Especially when it’s a bully you don’t even recognize?
They come in small packages, nowadays. They’re often disguised as fragile little creatures who need protecting.
The other day I saw a little person picking on a big guy. Poking, jabbing, pinching, and hitting. It obviously hurt, but the big guy was tolerant. He was ruled by our laws of humanity—a genteel respect for the smaller person.
At last, the torment became too much. “Stop!” the guy said. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because I can!” came the swift answer. “It’s what I do best!”
The smaller the bully is, the more pleasure they seem to gain from tormenting their victims—perhaps because they, themselves, have been bullied. They are the ones who need defending….right?
Pint-sized bullies are common in the Human species…They’re everywhere! But in the Animal Kingdom, they don’t even exist! The Law of the Jungle would never tolerate such a thing. Critters deal with tiny tyrants swiftly. The torment ends before it begins.
Sadly, we lack the common sense of God’s furry critters who rule their offspring with a necessary firmness. Their very existence depends on it. They don’t tolerate tiny tyrants like we do—not for a moment.
We, humans, struggle with such matters. We’re not as wise as God’s lesser creation. We seldom suspect what’s really going on. We’re programmed to think that bullies are always BIG. But such is not the case.
Little bullies have infiltrated and even taken over our culture. They’re running rampant through our homes, schools, churches, and businesses—yet we remain unaware. We’re in total denial.
We go through life feeling harried and hassled. Tensions build up and up. Families implode. Marriages are destroyed. Our whole world seems to be teetering on the brink of insanity. We have set ourselves up to be destroyed from within, because we don’t recognize the threat we are facing….the self-destructive patterns that we, ourselves, have created.
It’s the scourge of permissive parenting…The yielding of our society to pint-sized bullies.
“What rubbish!” you say. “Our kids are not bullies! They don’t rule over us! And they certainly don’t rule the world!”
Indeed…
You’ve heard that old adage about Mommas: “The-hand-that-rocks-the-cradle-rules-the-world”…? Well, it’s true, so true—except when Mother surrenders that power—yielding it to the one who is in the cradle. Who rules our world then?
Pleeease Mommy! Oh Puleeeease! “I said NO!” Oh, but Puleeeeeeeease! “OK. OK! I’ll buy you that toy, but nothing more!”
Admit it. We, ourselves, have put these toddler-tyrants in power. They begin manipulating us from the cradle—learning bad habits that will destroy their character and cripple them for life. And we allow it. We call it love. When our babies were born, they looked up at us with wide-eyed innocence and we were lost. Doomed. Blinded to reality!
We cater to their every whim—enabling them day after day. We hug our tormentors and encourage their terrible behavior. We reward it whenever possible.
Then, when we see the same behavior in other peoples’ kids, we are horrified. Aghast. “Look at that! Chaos in the church-house!…in the marketplace!…in the neighborhood! What is the world coming to!”
Tiny tyrants are wreaking havoc on all sides. How often we see it…A child tormenting an older sibling while the parents look the other way. Step-kids sabotaging relationships. A huge Tug-of-War between parents. Children demanding that the “terrible step-parent” be tossed out the door. Marriages end up in divorce courts. Misery abounds.
“Unbelievable!” we say. “The little monsters! How embarrassing for the family! I’d never stand for that!”
Problem is: we do stand for it. We let our kids cause us chaos because these are our precious little bullies—and we’ll defend ‘em to the death. No one—but no one—recognizes the pint-sized bully in their own backyard…or in their own house. It’s always somebody else’s kid who is the brat. The little monster manipulator.
The ultimate truth is this: it’s a scary world for little bullies live in. To wield that kind of power is terrifying when you’re so small. Kids need and want secure boundaries, and they keep pushing until they find one. It’s a frightening thing when they can make more and more demands—and nobody stops them.
It’s a scary world for the rest of us, as well, and it’s getting scarier by the day…because we all know that it can’t continue. America is going to pay for permissive parenting—and pay big!
You know, folks—this is a rather recent phenomena, really. A curse of the modern era. Permissive parenting didn’t happen much in the old days!
Can you imagine it?… A century ago, kids throwing themselves on the floor at Ma and Pa’s Grocery Market—shouting at parents and grandparents, while the adults stood by red-faced and helpless? (Or worse yet, those same kids killing their parents, then throwing a grandiose party right afterwards.)
No. Never. It simply didn’t happen in the old days. Our forefathers would not put up with such anarchy…such foolishness. Every adult had the liberty—in fact, the obligation—to correct everybody else’s child in public. No one was insulted. It was expected…for the good of society! And they had a much better culture than we do, today.
Try correcting someone else’s child, nowadays. You’ll end up in serious trouble. In fact, if you try to correct your own child in public, you’ll be in trouble. It’s no wonder we’re living in chaos.
What’s going to happen in a world where kids rule the roost? Where parents are afraid to say “No.” Where pint-sized bullies make demands and everyone else is expected to fall in line?
I’ll tell you what will happen. There’s going to a breakdown in our society—a collapse of our culture. A return to Uncivilization that’s far worse than the Law of the Jungle. The growling, prowling critters of the Animal Kingdom will be better off than our own species—for they are equipped to handle the ensuing backlash of violence.
They have their own laws and jaws and claws—and they mete out justice swiftly. They have no anarchy amongst their ranks….!
Well, folks. I reckon I’ve said enough on this subject, and I’d better be winding down. You don’t want me talking about the juvenile crime and the violence in the streets of America… So, I’d better hush. I rest my case, folks…‘Cuz the case is getting mighty heavy.
By the way…If you need a little more backbone—some willpower to help you handle those kids and grandkids—just cut out this column and hang it on your fridge. Then read it once a day. Or twice, if needs be.
Remember…“They can’t bully you—if you don’t let ‘em.…!”
Bye for now, everybody. See you again next month!
Vicki O’Neal
Adventuring With Vic 